Book1:TeDream-Maker
atloveandlustweretwopletelydifferentthingsandshehadmarriedforlove.Butastimepassed,shegraduallybecameawareofsomethingmissing.Trueandpureastheirlovewas,itwasonlyamirage,gthedown-to-earthloveoftheflesh.Shecouldnolongerbesatisfiedwithansthesizeofalittlefinger.Ikeuoodandcametothepainfuldecisionthatitwasunnaturaltodenyherhealthybody.Heallowedhertohaveaffairswithothermen.Atfirst,Elinaagreed,buteverytimeshecamebackafterferociousandtempestuouslove-making,herhungerfullysatisfied,shewasstruckwithasenseofguiltandremorse.ThepaininIke’seyes,whichhetriedsohardtoceal,waslikeakuherheart.Theyfellintoeachothersarms,g.Therepetitionofthissebecameanightmareuntiltheyfeltthattotihisretionshipwascrueltobothofthemanddecidedonseparatioheirfeelings.Theypartedamicably,stillverymulove,andtonightIketoldherhisdecision—divorce.Elihathermarriagewasnotamistake;herwasherdivorce.Loveandlustcouldbeseparate.Loveiritualintercoursebetweentwopeople.EverytimeshewaswithIkeaaloveforhim,itbroughtitsownfulfillment,pleteinitself,withouttheneedforphysitimacy;justasapletelysatisfyingsexualintercoursesometimeshasnoneedforspirituallove.Elinasattherelookinglostandpensive. 5 "Duringtheyearofseparation,ImyeyesonanothermanbecauseIwaoremainfaithfultoIke,eventhoughheallowedmetohaveaffairs.YouseeIstilllovehim,orIwouldn’tkeephispictureomyheart.Buttrarytomyexpectations,Ikehasgedpletelyduringthisyearofseparationintothegaymanyoujustsaw.Todayheotonlytotellmeofhisdecisionforadivorce,butalsoofhispnsforasexualtransformationintoaw